Carrie is right about Joe Dirt

Joe Dirt: So you’re gonna tell me that you don’t have no black cats, no Roman Candles, or screaming mimis?
Kicking Wing: No.
Joe Dirt: Oh come on, man. You got no lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity do das, or crap flappers?
Kicking Wing: No, I don’t.
Joe Dirt: You’re gonna stand there, ownin’ a fireworks stand, and tell me you don’t have no whistlin’ bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker don’ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistlin’ kitty chaser?
Kicking Wing: No… because snakes and sparklers are the only ones I like.
Joe Dirt: Well that might be your problem, it’s not what you like, it’s the consumer.

 

Old People

Generally, I love old people.  By old I mean people who are over 75 or so.  I love talking to them and hearing their stories.  However, there are several things about old folks that piss me off:

– they insist on driving the same make, model, year, and color of car as the Highway Patrol…

– they spawned the “baby boomer” generation

– they are the reason “butterscotch” exists and was made into a candy

– Miracle Ear, I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up, and those stupid fucking electric carts

 

People full of shit…

Rush Limbaugh

Jimmy Buffet

Al Gore

Kanye West

Bono

 

People

Plain people make up the world but colorful people make the world go ’round…

 

The Beatles

I don’t think the Beatles were that great…

 

Led Zepplin

I don’t think Led Zepplin is the best rock band ever

 

First thoughts…

Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle have already figured it all out…